DURHOLME - the ley home of the Prince Bishop's Men

The Dirty Goblin Song

A much enjoyed traditional LRP song

Three dirty goblins crossed the line,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
Three dirty goblins crossed the line,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
Three dirty goblins crossed the line,
One in front and two (up his) behind,
Ee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboo.

They crossed the line on a big white horse,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
They crossed the line on a big white horse,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
They crossed the line on a big white horse,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
One to ride and two to toss,
Ee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboo.

They came upon a wayside inn,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
They came upon a wayside inn,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
They came upon a wayside inn,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
The door was locked - they kicked it in !
Ee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboo.

The landlord's daughter she was fair,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
The landlord's daughter she was fair,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
The landlord's daughter she was fair,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
With milky tits and long blonde hair !
Ee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboo.

They tied her to the leg of a bed,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
They tied her to the leg of a bed,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
They tied her to the leg of a bed,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
And shagged her till she was half dead,
Ee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboo.

And then they took her up to Five,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
And then they took her up to Five,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
And then they took her up to Five,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
Until she started to revive,
Ee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboo.

They took her down the leafy lane,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
They took her down the leafy lane,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
They took her down the leafy lane,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
And shagged her back to life again !
Ee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboo.

The landlord heard what they had done,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
The landlord heard what they had done,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
The landlord heard what they had done,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
And shot the goblins one by one!
Ee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboo.

[slowly and sadly]
Three dirty goblins went to Hell,
Taboo (taboooo) Taboo (taboooo)
Three dirty goblins went to Hell,
Taboo (taboooo) Taboo (taboooo)
Three dirty goblins went to Hell,
Taboo (taboooo) Taboo (taboooo)
[Pause. Toast to "Three Dirty Goblins". All raise glasses and drink]
[quicker speed again !]
Aaaaand shagged the devil's wife as well !
Ee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboo.

And when the devil heard of this,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
And when the devil heard of this,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
And when the devil heard of this,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
He drowned them all in a bucket of piss,
Ee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboo.

The dirty goblins drank the piss,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
The dirty goblins drank the piss,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
The dirty goblins drank the piss,
Taboo (taboo) Taboo (taboo),
And gave the devil a big sloppy kiss !
Ee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboo.
[slowly once more]
Eeee-aye, bollocky-aye, bollocky-aye taboooo !


Submitted by Jules Fattorini